Category: Easily Amused
Pesach Cleaning Will Never Be the Same Again
If you are like me then you probably aren’t doing your Pesach cleaning…yet. Oh, you plan to scrub down the floors, empty out the fridge and find the bread crumbs that have become a part of your couch-but you just can’t motivate yourself to actually put the broom in your hand.I need incentive for these types of life challenges. And I think I may have found it on best friend Youtube. The videos below are two Pesach raps that have transformed my outlook on cleaning. The raps have literally become my version of whistle while you work songs and maybe they will help to motivate you too.
How?
The first video, “Moses Rap,” is informative and the lyrics are super catchy. I listen to it before I clean each room (or before I will clean each room) and then when I clean, I sing the chorus. This is the “whistle while you work,” part. I mean, does it get cooler than that?
The second video, Matzah Ball Rap, is just what the doctor order for those truly tough cleaning jobs. Instead of pulling out your hair, wondering how you will get the sticky syrup stuck in the back of your fridge clean, try watching this video for a good laugh. One chuckle and you’ll forget why you were so upset and look forward to the battle of the syrup. Well, maybe not look forward to it, but at least you will have laughed and that helps reduce some of the stress. Did I mention that the song is a parody of the rap by Sir Mix-a-lot’s, “Baby Got Back”?
I hope you enjoy these two videos and that they inspire you to do your own version of whistle while you work. This raps are also great to just listen to and send to friends and family!
Stuff Israeli People Like #1-8
After reading the hilarious blog, Stuff white people like, I thought I’d take a crack at what Israeli people like. Keep in mind, this is from the perspective of someone who made aliyah (moved to Israel), not a native Israeli. I’m sure after a few more years I won’t even notice these little details, so I want to try to write it all down now.
- Tashlumim - Paying in installments. For example, you go to the supermarket and buy pasta and sauce. At the checkout they ask you if you would like to pay regular or in installments. 9 times out of 10 Israelis will say yes to the tashlumim. Are all these Israelis really living from month to month or has society seduced them into the illusion that they are spending less by dividing up the payments?
- Magenta hair - In America, women tend to get blonder as they get older, but here in Israel, women get magenta-er. The shades range from maybe-it’s-brown to the bubble-gum variety. I guess they figure, everyone can tell it’s dyed, mind’s well beat the system by showing off.
- Decorating cars for weddings - Decorating a car for newlyweds is a must in Israel. Even if you protest and say you don’t really care, it is guaranteed that your car will be decorated and will follow strict decorating guidelines. First, it must be decked out in ribbon, not balloons. The ribbon must go in two strands across the length of the car and taped down every 3 inches creating a rippled effect.
And now for an interesting episode that I encountered with the decorated British car in the photo below. A few Shabbats ago, we were eating in the park when we heard a police car shouting over a megaphone. They warned the owner of this taxi-lookin’ car to come down or they would open the car by force. And they did! They duct-taped the driver-seat window and then cut out the window using a special knife. As a huge crowd gathered, we just watched, confused, as the police searched every inch of the car and then proceeded to tow it away. As my good friends from The Mighty Wind would say, “Wha happen?!” So curious…
- Construction - With expensive luxury apartments going up left and right, Jerusalem is feared to turn into a ghost town, with Americans only visiting during the holidays. In the meantime, we can look forward to getting hit on by the construction workers on our walk to work.
- Honking before the light turns green - I’m not sure who thought it would be a good idea to make the light turn yellow before it turns green, but it has caused the most unbelievable anxiety in traffic. As soon as people feel the yellow light coming, they already start honking. Before it even turns green
!
- Traffic Circles - They just love ‘em. And if you want to see the mother of all traffic circles, check out the double laned one on the corner of Pierre Koening and Hatenufa(?) in Talpiot. I still can’t figure out who is supposed to go where and when.
- Techno Music - It doesn’t matter where you are - hippie fest by the Sea of Galilee, watching Nolad Lirkod (Born to Dance) on TV, or eating in a religious-owned felafel joint, Techno music is everywhere. It just manages to take over every possible scenario. What ever happened to the good ol’ days of YoYa?
- Funny lookin’ cars - Oh, man, it makes me laugh again just looking at it. I have never seen these types of cars anywhere except for Israel. I guess it is the equivalent of a mini-van.. of sorts.
I’m sure I’m missing lots so if you’re feeling generous add your own “Stuff Israeli people like” in the comments.
Phobservation #2: Do cats really get stuck in trees? Would you call the fire dept?
I heard someone knocking at the door, and when I opened it, my neighbor asked me if my cat was stuck in the tree in the back of the building. What?!
Luckily, Yosh(my cat) was right next to me, but I ran to the porch to see what was going on. And, what do you know, a cat stuck in the tree. I thought this was reserved for fake news shows or children’s books- but here I was, looking at the real live thing.
As we nervously looked on and rooted for the cat, we placed a call to the fire department - Number 102 in Israel. But, the menu was too complicated! After giving up on the fire department we took front row seats to this hold-on-to-your-chairs pay-per-view event and watched the cat carefully strategize his way down the tree. As soon as it landed, we clapped and cheered like idiots! And noticed that we got some weird looks from neighbors popping out to see what all the fuss was about.
In case you missed it, here’s a link to my Phobservation #1: Are Israeli mopeds made of Legos?
Kama Kesef helps the wedding-gift challenged in Israel
How much money should you give at a wedding? Um.. awkward. Probably a taboo subject, but not for Israelis! Kama Kesef is an online calculator that gives you an objective view of how much money to give at weddings or other occasions. It factors in how close of friends you are, time of year, where it’s being held, and other criteria. I don’t really see how the time of year plays a role. I guess halls are more expensive in different seasons, but I can’t imagine that it would affect how much someone gives as a present. But who am I to judge the almighty wedding present calculator?
I tried it out, making up the following info: a not so close friend, September wedding, held in a hall, and found out the appropriate amount to give would be 234 shekels. When I asked around, people told me the real going rate is 150-200 for young people. Who to trust…
The site is in Hebrew and only works in Internet Explorer (surprise surprise). I heard about it a few times, but thanks to a comment on a post in What War Zone, I finally got around to writing it up.
Here’s a screenshot from the Kama Kesef calculator:
A New Girl Crush on a New Soul
There is this new song that Galgalatz is already starting to overplay on the radio. It is called “New Soul”, and it is bubbly and fun. After listening to it twice, you’ll get the melody and the lyrics stuck in your head for the rest of the day. Best of all, as I discovered yesterday, the singer, Yael Naim, is Israeli. Not only that, but her album has Hebrew songs on it! Did I mention she sings her own version of Britney Spear’s, “Toxic” on the album too? And, she recently won best album of the year in France (she was born in France and moved to Israel as a child). Do I smell another inappropriate girl crush?
Her music is awesome and getting praise, not to mention air time, all over the world. And because I don’t want to be the only one with an inappropriate girl crush, I have attached links below so you can have one too (unless you’re a boy and then it is just a crush).
LINKS! 
Listen to Yashanti at http://www.myspace.com/yaelnaim
Watch the video for New Soul at
Watch the video for her version of Britney Spear’s Toxic at
Check out Yael Naim’s website and make sure to read her bio at http://www.yaelweb.com/
Read about her Best New Album award at http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3517130,00.html
Don’t you love when an Israeli is in the news and it is not about lies, the political situation or terrorism!
Shin Bet? No. Shin Blog!
The world of Israeli blogs just got a little weirder. Never mind that anyone who made aliyah has also made a blog (We just have so much to say about our journey…that and our painful visits to bureaucratic offices). But, now Shin Bet- Israel’s version of the FBI- is blogging too. Shin Bet? No, Shin Blog!
When my co-blogger (and skinny friend) Becca, sent me a link to Prime Minister Olmert’s blog, I thought, that’s creepy. I mean it is not like he is sitting at Café Hillel, drinking the cheapest coffee he could find on the menu, and typing a post about his tough day on the job. In fact, it is more believable that the government probably hired a professional writer, who sits at Café Hillel, drinking the cheapest coffee on the menu, writing posts about Olmert’s tough day on the job.
But, forget Olmert and his lame attempt to be one of the cool kids (everyone cool has a blog- duh), now Shin Bet is trying to get in on the trend. While the organization says it is using the blog as a merger attempt to recruit techies, this blogger can’t help but wonder, “what the hell is going on?” Continue »
7 months of funny search terms
Some people check their blog stats for duration of visit, referring sites, or most popular content. I prefer to check mine for search terms of how people findthe big felafel. Some are the usual like “misrad hapnim Jerusalem” or “book stores Jerusalem” but some are pretty hilarious and fall into the following categories.
Seeking Philosophical answers – I really wonder if anybody can ever explain these wonders of the world
- Is ahmadedejad evil
- Assigned seats in movie theater
- Are there 50 or 52 states
- Are there movie theaters in Israel
Religiouis – oh Jews… always looking to make fun of themselves
- Shemittah jokes
- yom kippur funny
Weird – um…
- And a pile of bandaids, thank you
- Make friends with salad
- Poo fight faceback
Random – things I would never, ever, ever think of looking up… but maybe now I will…
- Tushy police
- How to dump your facebook friends
- My tushy is too large
- 3 things that happened during the invention chocolate
Vague – Even if these people found the answers they were looking for, I still don’t think they’d be happy with the answer. I recommend these people use Google’s advanced search feature.
- Make falafel game
- Why do you know that they are boys
- Location or place where the book sells
- How big is a parking spot
- The cost of stuff in Israel
- How much do groceries cost in Israel
- calories in falafel
- How many shekels is food in Israel
- how much do things cost in israeli shekels
Cut the crap - give me the low down
- How much is a falafel in Israel
- Price of chicken in Israel
- how do people make a living in israel
Mad Libs For Peace
I think that anyone who starts an initiative for peace in the middle east probably has good intentions… maybe a little naïve, but a good heart none the less. Although a noble cause, many times these groups for peace use a formula that amounts to no more than: noun + for peace = organization name. I’ve compiled a list of the groups that have most amused me most from ukuleles (I just learned how to spell that) to sex.
We had written about Salsa for Peace, only to learn that there are tons more creative ideas to bring peace for the middle east. Recently in Janglo, I noticed none other than Ukuleles for Peace(upcoming concert) and Drummers For Peace In the Middle East(looking for a drummer).
Other For Peace organization names that amused me:
- Standup for Peace
- Laugh for Peace
- Blues for Peace
- Sex for Peace - a picture of why the Middle East is in deep shit
- Carwash for peace
What will they think of next?
Are Israeli mopeds made of legos? [photos]
I have started to take my camera with me everywhere so here is my first photo observation:
Israeli mopeds are made of legos
Where’s the Mexican food?
About a month ago, Rebecca (my co-blogger and skinny friend), exposed the sushi take-over in Jerusalem. Like a lot of people, she was happy to see Jerusalem swimming in seaweed. But me-I am still waiting for the Mexicans to cross the border.
Did you know that there are no Mexican restaurants in Jerusalem? Some may want to argue that the restaurant Poyo Loco in Talpiot is Mexican, but they would be wrong. First of all, I don’t think a Mexican restaurant menu should offer salsa, spaghetti and hummus. And it doesn’t matter now anyways because the restaurant closed down.
And don’t even go there with, “La Boca is Mexican,” because what you want to say is, “La Boca is a strange and expensive restaurant. They claim to serve Spanish food, yet all I could find in my tiny portion was an Israeli salad wrapped in a tortilla.” So don’t go there.
Here’s the deal. I am originally from Los Angeles, so baby food came in a taco. Continue »
-
Updates by RSS
"How to use RSS" video in plain English
-
Updates by Email
-
Recent Entries
- Watch the president’s conference online - great quality
- Yom Ba-Bush
- Everything I’ve learned about recycling and trying to go green in Israel. Part 2: Local Organic Produce and The Omnivore’s Dilemma
- Everything I’ve learned about recycling and trying to go green in Israel. Part 1: the big picture
- Pesach Cleaning Will Never Be the Same Again
-
Relevant Ads
(I hope) - 3 websites to find out what’s going on in Jerusalem
- Sderot or Your City? The Click To Care Campaign
- Where to go dancing in Jerusalem: Salsa, Israeli, Clubs, Belly, and more
- Top 6 Bargains in Israel (and the runner-ups)
- Where the @#$*& is my bus? Using the online Egged bus schedule
- Sushi take-over of Jerusalem
- Spontaneous adventure: Israel’s last-minute travel sites
- More essential tips »
Essential Tips
-
Search
-
Sponsors
-
- Advertise here
-
Categories
- Easily Amused (51)
- funnnny (1)
- Going Green (2)
- If I ran Israel (20)
- Jerusalem Scene (18)
- The fights (9)
- Tips on saving NIS (13)
- Trying to fit in (8)
- Videos (18)
- Wisdom Gained (41)
Blogroll
- thebigfelafel is happy being hosted on Lunar Pages.
24/7 support is a big deal when you have a funny time zone GMT+2
-
Books we love
- If you want to buy it, click on the book and it will take you to the amazon checkout.
Writers
Recommended Hosting
