I hope to see you there. There will be comedy sketches, improv, music, beer and even stand-up with the very talented Benji Lovitt.

For details click here. 

Click here to view the embedded video.

This is what our friendship would look like

A few years ago famous comedian Sarah Silverman took part in a campaign geared towards getting young Jews to make sure their grandparents in Florida voted for then presidential candidate Barak Obama, in ‘The Great Schlep’.

Fast forward a few years later to present day, famous comedian Sarah Silverman is about to partake in another schlep, The Really Great Schlep, as she makes her way to the Jewish Homeland. That’s right, Silverman, obviously a big Jew, will be in Israel on tour and at this year’s President’s conference in about a week.

I am sure she will have an awesome trip, hang out with her family, and see some Jewish stuff while she is here. But more importantly, she needs to come and hang out with me, because we are destined to be BFFs. Is there a way to say that, write that, without sounding creepy or stalkerish?

So, just like Sarah Silverman once campaigned to make a difference, it appears it is now my turn to do the same. Perhaps my campaign is much smaller, really just for me and my friends and my comedy troupe, but I believe it will have a profound  effect on the nation, on Jews as a whole, and perhaps even milk prices.

Sarah Silverman this is my ‘Be My BFF’ campaign and I will do everything that I can until you and I are wearing friendship bracelets, posing in front of the Western Wall with our shoulders covered (thanks to the old lady-shmata-police at the Kotel who hand out dirty scarves to make sure G-d doesn’t get a peep show in the holiest place in the world) and leftover hummus and pita in our teeth.

There are a lot of reasons that you should be my friend and meet me on your trip to Israel. I will now list just a few. Also, I will make sure to tweet it up, Facebook and get my friends involved in my campaign. I will not sleep or eat until you are my friend. Mainly I won’t be sleeping because my eight-month-old son is teething and wakes up every two hours throughout the night. And when I say I won’t eat, what I mean is, I won’t eat too much, except for Shabbat when calories don’t count.

A List of Just a Few Reasons Why We Should be BFF:

We are both Jewish ( I only use this as a reason, because people think when they are setting people up, as long as they have one thing in common, like age, race or religion, that they must be perfect for each other…just trying to cover my bases. And this is kind of like the perfect shidduch).

I have a tiny comedy troupe, in a tiny city, in a tiny country. We are Hahafuch (it means upside down) the premiere English speaking comedy troupe in all of Israel. The only English speaking comedy troupe in all of Israel. We do improv and comedy sketches, making fun of Israel. We would love to have you for practice. Then you can check off “do improv with a bunch of new immigrants in Jerusalem” from your bucket list.

My husband is an archaeologist and can show you a private tour of his dig where they find really old stuff. He can also show you and your family awesome, really old secret places all over Jerusalem that you don’t know about.

I will take you to Bazaar Strauss in Talpiot, which is like a smaller, crappier version of Target. I will buy you anything you want, as long as it’s under NIS 10. It might not sound like much, but you could get a lot of stuff there for that price: underwear (never used, I might add), salad tongs, or half of a Purim costume (I say half because the other half is gone but they are still selling it).

I go to this Yoga-Pilates fusion class that you would love. Not because of the workout, but because the teacher wears these amazing pants, that are so wrong in all the wrong places. It is truly a body and mind challenge to get through the class. But as BFFs I know we could do it together.

I will take you to the Jerusalem Mahane Yehuda Shuk and you can meet a real busta (stall) owner in the Iraqi part, and I can guarantee he will give you some candy and tell you cool stories about his life.  I will then buy you NIS 5 ice coffee from marzipan and get you some of their famous rugelach if you insist. We will look at really pretty vegetables and take another picture, that I would probably make my Facebook profile for life.

You’re invited for Shabbat. I will make sure to have a table of awesome people, even if it means I have to become more than Facebook friends with them and possibly have to pay them. For a BFF, I would do that.

There’s more reasons of course, but I have to leave something for Twitter and Facebook. I will post reasons daily and I hope you will check them out and I will win you over. Like I said I will do anything. I can’t promise peace in the Middle East, but I can promise it like a politician does- which is about the same and worth a Nobel Prize if nothing else.

I know if we had the chance to hang out that it would be just another day in your world but for me it would kind of make my life. I moved to Israel after college and while I love it here, sometimes it’s hard to get through the day. Not because of terrorists. No I’m talking about something more evil than that- bureaucracy. So, I am just saying that you would make a big difference in someone’s life. And that difference will have a huge effect throughout the Anglo-Immigrant community in Israel. That’s a big deal. A really big deal. So on your Really Big Schlep, please just consider taking an hour or two to meet your Middle East BFF.

He wants to be BFFs too!

Also, I have a dog. He’s a Jerusalem mix and knows how to high five and roll over. We rescued him. He does not make white dog poop from the 70′s, but I can have my Israeli husband sing that song to you. He has it memorized.

To hang out you can email here. Or tweet me @FelafelBalls

Can’t wait!

Doors open at 7:30pm so make sure to get there for the cheap stuff and free stuff and grab a good seat. We sold out our last two shows so it’s best to call the box office at 052-603-9115 to reserve tickets. Check out the event on our Facebook group page. And check out our Hummus in a bag video from our February show.
HaHaפuch Comedy Variety Show:
May 13, 2010
Doors open at 7:30pm
The Merkaz Hamagshimim Theater, 7a Dor DorVeDorshav, German Colony, Jerusalem, Israel, the world
NIS 30: Students and soldiers
NIS 35: regular ticket

Click here to view the embedded video.

Check out some of our videos from the show and let us know if you have any ideas for Israeli sketches. We want to hear from you about daily life experiences from job interviews to bureaucratic fights, to delicious food and bad dates. We plan to perform once a month at The Merkaz Hamagshimim Theater still at the same location in the German Colony. Every month will be a whole new show of improv, sketches, musical guest and more.

Become a Fan of our Facebook page

I finally got my chance to partake in a flash mob last Friday at Jerusalem’s popular hangout spot, the midrachov/Ben Yehuda St.  Nefesh B’nefesh organized the mission, taught us the dance, and now, released the official video. Enjoy and Happy Chanukah!!

Click here to view the embedded video.

And if you still want more, here’s the Making of the Flash Mob Video.

Here are some of my other favorite Improv Everywhere videos:

• Grocery Store Musical
• I love Lunch!
• Invisible Dogs

Click here to view the embedded video.

And remember an easy way to stay safe is using a good old fashion condom. Now apparently if you’re French then you’ll need an XXL according to a European study by the Singen-based Institute of Condom Consultancy. Yes, after over 10,500 men measured their member, it turns out Frenchies need a condom that is about six inches (15.48 cm) long, making them the biggest in the region.

Of course I can’t help but wonder where Israeli men would fall on the scale, but I will say this: anyone is free to measure and figure it out on the Institute’s website. While I admit I’m kind of curious to do my own study, I don’t think my husband would approve. You know you’re a little curious too (oops, I said little, is that a Freudian slip?)!

The Institute has also created a prototype of the “spray-on condom” which is an aerosol can that contains latex. One only needs to spray the area to create the perfect fitting condom. Not sure exactly what that means, watch the video to find out. But please don’t steal my idea for next year’s Purim costume! I will buy enough cans to make it work damn it!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

This used to be my reality every November for as long as I can remember. But for the last 3 years I have been living in Israel and those Thanksgiving days have turned into memories of my past. Oh, stop being so dramatic, the truth is you (as in me and all other American immigrants) can still have Thanksgiving in Israel.

I know it isn’t the same as sitting around the table in America, staring down at your food baby (this is a term Shira taught me which refers to the ridiculous amount of food you just ate that now makes you appear five months pregnant) and going around the table saying what we are thankful for (I am always thankful there is a toilet near by)—but friends, we are not alone and Thanksgiving can still be the best holiday ever! The gravy bowl is half full!

Here are tips on how to prepare your own Thanksgiving meal. And below these tips are places that will be having Thanksgiving meals in Israel if you are too lazy to make your own. Finally at the way, way bottom are tips to be super lazy but still do something for Thanksgiving. And if there are suggestions for any of these categories, please let me know so I can add them to the lists.

1.Prepare your meal:

Turkey: You’ll find a real Turkey and pumpkin at the Shuk/Mahane Yehuda in Jerusalem.

Cranberry Sauce: Go to Super Moshava on Emek Refaim in the German Colony or Rami Levy supermarket in Talpiot for cranberry sauce in a can. P.S. It’s ShopRite brand for 13.99 NIS. Yes, ShopRite brand in an Israeli supermarket.

Gravy: Click here for a super fast recipe for gravy (vegetarian too).

Stuffing Here’s Rebecca’s recipe for stuffing. (Disclaimer: First time she’s ever written a recipe, so don’t be mad if it comes out funny)

Ingredients:

2 loaves, hard crusty bread

Boiling water

2 onions

Celery

2 eggs

Tturkey

Preparation

1. Buy hard crusty bred (French/Italian) and rip into pieces and put into a bowl.
2. Pour boiling water over the ripped bread (enough to cover the bread)
3. Saute 2 chopped onions and bunch of celery and add to bowl
4. Add 2 eggs to bowl
5. Mush everything with your hands or spoons
6. Put mixture into a pan
7. Put pieces of turkey on top of the stuffing and bake for 1hr at 350 degrees.

Decorations: To decorate your house with a Thanksgiving motif use printer paper, trace your hand and make a turkey drawing from it (it worked in elementary school). Then place these drawing on your walls, around the table, etc.

Discussions: Talk about football games instead of watching them. Go around the table and say why you are thankful, lie if you have to.

Clothing: Wear loose pants or pants that are easy to unbutton for your food baby.

2. Too lazy? Go to someone else’s Turkey feast

Merkaz Hamagshimim, Jerusalem: Thursday, November 27th 7pm
If you are an American or former American living in Israel, if you are friends with Americans, if you are Israeli or any other nationality and want to have a potluck family meal celebrating the most fun American holiday, join us at The Merkaz for Thanksgiving Dinner on Thursday, November 27th, at 7pm.This meal is potluck and to make sure there is enough food for everyone and that everything is completely kosher, please RSVP to Ashleigh by Tuesday, the 25th of November.The Merkaz will then confirm with you what dish you will bring or what food you will buy. The suggested amount to spend is 30-40 shekels a person. And since not everyone has a kosher home, if you are more comfortable just contributing to the cost of the turkey, that is fine too!!!!

Nefesh B’Nefesh, Tel Aviv: Thanksgiving Dinner with a Middle Eastern Twist Thursday, Nov. 27th, 7:30pm
Celebrate and give thanks at a Western style Thanksgiving dinner.  Sit down with friends, old and new, for a traditional Thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings, drinks (including wine) and more!

In addition to the meal, everyone is encouraged to bring an article of clothing or canned food that will be given to charity.

When: Thursday, November 27, 2008 at  7:30 pm

Where: Bazel Hotel – Hayarkon 156 (between Gordon & Ben Gurion)

Friends and guests of NBN Olim are welcome to join.

Registration required: Special discounted price of 75 NIS per person if you register before November 20th. If you register after Nov. 20th the price is 100 NIS. Spaces are limited- The event was sold out last year! This event is part of Nefesh B’Nefesh’s ongoing social programming for young couples and singles in their 20′s and 30′s.

3. For the super lazy who still want to celebrate Thanksgiving

• You can order a lot of pizza and hang out with friends, try to find someone who has cable and watch football games.
• Go to a bar and watch the game with friends. Get drunk and ask everyone what they are thankful for (mine would still be that there is a toilet near by).
• Do a Thanksgiving/Shabbat meal—this would be killing two birds with one stone (that’s funny because we are talking about turkey!). Get your friends and family for Shabbat and have a Thanksgiving theme. Instead of chicken have turkey; instead of chocolate cake have pumpkin pie. You get it! Ask friends to make their own dishes too. And you can still go around the table and say what you are thankful for!

Thanksgiving is just as yummy and real and thankful as ever in Israel! I hope you remember to thank The Big Felafel at your meal (don’t be shady)!

I’m sure you’re familiar with Overheard in New York, a blog that lets people post the bits of conversation that they hear in the streets, at the office, wherever, so long as it’s funny. As with most trends, Israel is catching up, slowly but surely. Once again, thanks to Keren, I discovered the Hebrew version of Overheard called Gunav L’oznai, Tzitutim Shel Tzitutim, which Morfix tells us roughly, very roughly, translates to “found out about, quotes from eavesdropping”.

Here are some recent “overheards” that I picked from the Gunav site.

Translation:

Officer 1: Tell me, how do you say pistachios in English?

Officer 2: I don’t think they eat them in English…

Translation:

Can you come over her for a second, like for 10 seconds, for a second?

What funny things have you overheard lately?
Check out Israel’s version of Overheard – Gunav L’oznai

Click here to view the embedded video.